15 Dec 2014 10:53 AM PT

By Mayim Bialik on Dec 15, 2014 at 1:00 pm ET

Hanukkah is upon us! It’s here! Not with as much pomp and circumstance as last year, mind you, when it fell ON THANKSGIVING–oh my gosh that was so awesome, turkeys and latkes and candles were all the rage. Stores had painted windows with turkeys holding Hanukkiyahs; it was awesome!

Now, it’s just a normal mid-December Hanukkah and that’s fine, too. Hanukkah being upon us means the annual conversation with my sons (who are 6 and 9) to review the basics. We don’t just review Hanukkah–oh no. That would be banal. We review Hanukkah, Christmas, and wherever the twain shall meet.

You see, my sons have grandparents who celebrate Christmas. They also have grandparents who don’t, but they still have grandparents who do. SO there are lots of questions. Their dad (my ex) and I had our annual discussion we have been having since Firstborn was born which goes something like: Do you give gifts to people for your holiday or theirs? Meaning, do we give Christmas gifts to grandparents who celebrate Christmas? Or do we give them Hanukkah gifts two weeks before Christmas?

I don’t know that there is a real answer; you could argue that the holiday is about giving, so you should give on your holiday. You could also argue that that’s just plan weird, because mailing gifts in late November or early December if Hanukkah falls then is just strange and seems like you are going out of your way to give gifts at a weird strange time. Sigh.

The ex and I also had our annual discussion about whether we have to get gifts at all for the kids. I didn’t grow up with gifts like people do nowadays; Hanukkah was not this big gift holiday then. We got pajamas and books and pencils and a calendar, and that was about it. (In my day, we also had to walk a mile in the snow with torn shoes to get to the town center to draw water from the well, right? Ugh, I am such an old fogie.) I would argue that we don’t need to do big gifts at all for our sons since they get gifts all year round for birthdays and just because, and we have so much stuff and there are people who have nothing and blah blah blah blah. The ex grew up with Christmas so he likes a bit more of the gift vibe. And he thinks I am a scrooge, which I suppose he is right about.

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